Thursday, March 5, 2015

A jacket that hugs me or….

A corset!  So I had started writing an entry last week but due to being busy at work and adding in my laziness it never got published.  It was just a quick run down of me failing to continue at the gym again and how easy it was to fall out of the habit after only 2 solid weeks.  I mean, it was a really solid 2 weeks as I exercised 5 times a week both weeks and stuck to a 1399 calorie diet.  All it took was feeling sick, a holiday and a friend’s visit to throw it all out the window.


Restarting attempt number 3932094203 shall commence soon.


Back to the corset though.  I have owned a corset since around 2005.  Right now any corset expert is going to tell you that this corset does not fit me because I’m as wide as they are assholes.  Do you know the best thing about a corset?  It has an open back so as long as you add more length to your tie up (lace, cord, whatever works for you) I really don’t believe you need to constantly buy new sizes UNLESS you become so small that your corset completely closes – then you need a smaller one.  OR you are very literally a foot wider than you had been since the ratio of material to tie up should probably be more material than cord or you’re headed to bondage territory and reminders that you look like a roast cooked with the strings on it.


I digest…erm, digress.  (Fat joke quota may have been met)  I decided to do some corset training.  Some people may know this as tightlacing.  Typically with corset training you strap it on and wear it starting at 2 or 3 hours a day and slowly work up to a much longer period of time.  This will vary from person to person as there are extreme corset trainers who wear their corset all the time even while sleeping and only remove it to shower or bathe.  I have less drastic ideas.


Day 1

My first corset training day was Monday.  I wore the corset from 7:30AM to 1:30AM.  6 hours.  I accidently had it on upside down so I think I got a lot less out of it than I should have which explains the long period of time I went on the first day.  I did not exercise or diet.  I used the original corset cord and a ribbon to tie it up in the back.  The widest gap in the lacing was roughly 5 inches.  I wore it until I got uncomfortable.


Day 2

I wore the corset the proper way up.  I know this because when I wear it right side up it hugs tighter to my under bust, feels a lot less comfortable and the boning bends into my stomach and stays there slowly driving me insane.  I wore the corset from 7:30AM to 11:00AM.  3.5 hours.  It became very uncomfortable after 3.5 hours and I only intent to wear the corset until it bothers me and I get the feeling that if it doesn’t come off I’ll start to claw the walls.  I did not diet or exercise.


Day 3

Forgot the corset at work!  I wore a body slimmer instead.  This thing is hard to  get on and it’s basically a bathing suite designed to squish your bits into a smooth form.  I wore the slimmer from 7:30AM to 2PM and then unhooked the part that hooks down in the girly area to relieve the digging in of the shoulder straps.  After about another hour I had to take the whole thing off since it rolled up into my waist making it really uncomfortable and giving new meaning to killer curve.  8 hours.  No diet or exercise and OH MY GOD THE AMOUNT OF FOOD I ATE AT THE POTLUCK WAS GOD AWFUL.  I did not diet or exercise.  I did force myself to go to my Healthy Living Program.  Only 2 more classes to go!


Day 4

That would be today!  So far I’ve been wearing the corset 2 hours.  When I tightened it up this morning I found that I could lace up with just the added ribbon up to the 2nd last hole so I only needed the original cord for that last one.  I think the gap is more like 4 inches now.  This helped me set a goal to completely just use the ribbon to lace up the corset and then slowly work on getting laced up using just the original cord.  By that time the corset will be close to an inch or two gap at its widest I think.  I have no intention of following a diet or exercise today.


Why do I keep mentioning diet and exercise if I’m wearing a corset – doesn’t this instantly solve my fat problem?  Nope.  Sure I look instantly fabulous and have better posture but you MUST EXERCISE when wearing a a corset.  After awhile your body becomes accustomed to an outside force holding up your core so it will result in weakening your core muscles and you will become reliant on the corset to keep you upright.  I will be making sure I start working out no later than 2 weeks into wearing the corset or I’ll be a limp noodle. 


I’m always up for excuses as to why I’m not following a healthier lifestyle at the moment – so here’s another one.  This weekend I will be traveling up to Red Deer to promote Geek Out and other than a ton of walking I don’t have plans to actively seek out exercise.  I also don’t think I’ll be wearing my corset on the extremely long drive up there but I may consider wearing the slimmer just to keep up some part of the corset training.  I won’t be outright making terrible food choices – especially since I’m limited in what I eat due to Celiac Disease but I’m not going to be going out of my way or inconveniencing the people that are with me by insisting on healthier options.  I leave it to those that are with me – and those that are with me are actually likely to choose to grocery shop and make food than go to a restaurant so I’m putting all my eggs in that basket.


Right after this weekend is over I will be hopping back on that exercise and diet train.  Since January I have started and stopped 3x now.  At least the starts and stops are only a couple weeks apart rather than months.  I haven’t given a good try to my health yet and I can’t say I passed or failed until I get through AT LEAST a solid month.  I feel like I’m waiting for warmer weather in a way…I have dreams of long walks with my doggy, riding my bike and spending the weekends in the parks with my husband and Shea.  So much leisurely exercise I like to do will be commencing in a few more weeks when the weather gets nicer.  I’m fully expecting to see a lot of health benefits coming my way over the next 6 months :)