Wednesday, September 10, 2014

The long and grinding road…

I have not hit a wall but I have hit a point where I’m having issues with staying true to the coarse.  Theoretically I should be on workout 35 but I’m on working 26 (by tonight anyways).  In the past 3 weeks I have missed 9 workouts due to a funeral, being sick with a cold and bursitis that likes to flare up from time to time in ether hip.

It’s very hard for me to convince myself that I’m not failing.  Yesterday was probably the worst.  My workouts the past week or two have been particularly spotty because of the cold – I worked out 1 day, missed 2, worked out again and then ended up with bursitis in my hip so I skipped another day to let it settle and then worked out yesterday.  Prior to that I was close to just doing the “To hell with it” thing because I noticed my stomach was sticking out and I thought I was getting fatter again. I thought that I had not done enough exercise so my body was backsliding.  I even measured my abdomen and found it was an inch bigger than my measure day back on August 31st.  I was spinning out and feeling miserable.

And then I realized I was bloated.  Don’t know what caused it but I was bloated and by the end of the day my measurement had fallen back down…and actually a little under what I was August 31st.  I panicked for nothing, I made myself feel like a fat hippo for no reason…I was having a fat day again but a much harder to identify kind – the kind where there is evidence besides you’re “feeling” fat that makes you want to scream and wonder why bother? 

Thankfully, I did not throw in the towel even when I thought I was backsliding.  Because I remembered why I was bothering and that it was not just to lose those inches.  I need not only to lose weight to drop pressure off my knees but I need to keep exercising because it gives me strength that I require regardless if I stay the same size – more strength means I can deal with that extra weight.  It also makes me feel better about myself in every way, more energy, less negativity and just overall better.

I can’t ever give up and I can’t ever stop.  I need to exercise until I reach a healthy target weight and then I need to keep exercising to maintain that weight.  I won’t make my goal this month or even by the end of this year…and probably not even by the end of next year but I have to keep going no matter what.

After all, if I quit I lose my Beach Body Unicorn moniker and THAT is the most important thing of all!



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