Thursday, March 5, 2015

A jacket that hugs me or….

A corset!  So I had started writing an entry last week but due to being busy at work and adding in my laziness it never got published.  It was just a quick run down of me failing to continue at the gym again and how easy it was to fall out of the habit after only 2 solid weeks.  I mean, it was a really solid 2 weeks as I exercised 5 times a week both weeks and stuck to a 1399 calorie diet.  All it took was feeling sick, a holiday and a friend’s visit to throw it all out the window.


Restarting attempt number 3932094203 shall commence soon.


Back to the corset though.  I have owned a corset since around 2005.  Right now any corset expert is going to tell you that this corset does not fit me because I’m as wide as they are assholes.  Do you know the best thing about a corset?  It has an open back so as long as you add more length to your tie up (lace, cord, whatever works for you) I really don’t believe you need to constantly buy new sizes UNLESS you become so small that your corset completely closes – then you need a smaller one.  OR you are very literally a foot wider than you had been since the ratio of material to tie up should probably be more material than cord or you’re headed to bondage territory and reminders that you look like a roast cooked with the strings on it.


I digest…erm, digress.  (Fat joke quota may have been met)  I decided to do some corset training.  Some people may know this as tightlacing.  Typically with corset training you strap it on and wear it starting at 2 or 3 hours a day and slowly work up to a much longer period of time.  This will vary from person to person as there are extreme corset trainers who wear their corset all the time even while sleeping and only remove it to shower or bathe.  I have less drastic ideas.


Day 1

My first corset training day was Monday.  I wore the corset from 7:30AM to 1:30AM.  6 hours.  I accidently had it on upside down so I think I got a lot less out of it than I should have which explains the long period of time I went on the first day.  I did not exercise or diet.  I used the original corset cord and a ribbon to tie it up in the back.  The widest gap in the lacing was roughly 5 inches.  I wore it until I got uncomfortable.


Day 2

I wore the corset the proper way up.  I know this because when I wear it right side up it hugs tighter to my under bust, feels a lot less comfortable and the boning bends into my stomach and stays there slowly driving me insane.  I wore the corset from 7:30AM to 11:00AM.  3.5 hours.  It became very uncomfortable after 3.5 hours and I only intent to wear the corset until it bothers me and I get the feeling that if it doesn’t come off I’ll start to claw the walls.  I did not diet or exercise.


Day 3

Forgot the corset at work!  I wore a body slimmer instead.  This thing is hard to  get on and it’s basically a bathing suite designed to squish your bits into a smooth form.  I wore the slimmer from 7:30AM to 2PM and then unhooked the part that hooks down in the girly area to relieve the digging in of the shoulder straps.  After about another hour I had to take the whole thing off since it rolled up into my waist making it really uncomfortable and giving new meaning to killer curve.  8 hours.  No diet or exercise and OH MY GOD THE AMOUNT OF FOOD I ATE AT THE POTLUCK WAS GOD AWFUL.  I did not diet or exercise.  I did force myself to go to my Healthy Living Program.  Only 2 more classes to go!


Day 4

That would be today!  So far I’ve been wearing the corset 2 hours.  When I tightened it up this morning I found that I could lace up with just the added ribbon up to the 2nd last hole so I only needed the original cord for that last one.  I think the gap is more like 4 inches now.  This helped me set a goal to completely just use the ribbon to lace up the corset and then slowly work on getting laced up using just the original cord.  By that time the corset will be close to an inch or two gap at its widest I think.  I have no intention of following a diet or exercise today.


Why do I keep mentioning diet and exercise if I’m wearing a corset – doesn’t this instantly solve my fat problem?  Nope.  Sure I look instantly fabulous and have better posture but you MUST EXERCISE when wearing a a corset.  After awhile your body becomes accustomed to an outside force holding up your core so it will result in weakening your core muscles and you will become reliant on the corset to keep you upright.  I will be making sure I start working out no later than 2 weeks into wearing the corset or I’ll be a limp noodle. 


I’m always up for excuses as to why I’m not following a healthier lifestyle at the moment – so here’s another one.  This weekend I will be traveling up to Red Deer to promote Geek Out and other than a ton of walking I don’t have plans to actively seek out exercise.  I also don’t think I’ll be wearing my corset on the extremely long drive up there but I may consider wearing the slimmer just to keep up some part of the corset training.  I won’t be outright making terrible food choices – especially since I’m limited in what I eat due to Celiac Disease but I’m not going to be going out of my way or inconveniencing the people that are with me by insisting on healthier options.  I leave it to those that are with me – and those that are with me are actually likely to choose to grocery shop and make food than go to a restaurant so I’m putting all my eggs in that basket.


Right after this weekend is over I will be hopping back on that exercise and diet train.  Since January I have started and stopped 3x now.  At least the starts and stops are only a couple weeks apart rather than months.  I haven’t given a good try to my health yet and I can’t say I passed or failed until I get through AT LEAST a solid month.  I feel like I’m waiting for warmer weather in a way…I have dreams of long walks with my doggy, riding my bike and spending the weekends in the parks with my husband and Shea.  So much leisurely exercise I like to do will be commencing in a few more weeks when the weather gets nicer.  I’m fully expecting to see a lot of health benefits coming my way over the next 6 months :)




Wednesday, January 28, 2015

The Beach is Back…wait that’s not it…

Forgive me Father for I have sinned it has been 4 months since my last confession.  Holy Hannah!  Not only that but I’m a whole chunky monkey bigger too.
I think I wrote a small novel before I highlighted it and deleted it.  I am amazing at rambling on forever.  So the basic gist of that big long unseen novel: I have recovered from the “I’m fatter than I think I am” phase where I had a hard time reconciling gaining so much weight even when I was exercising and moved on to “let’s try this again.”
I’m currently using Eat This Much, My Fitness Pal and my Garmin Vivo Fit to plan my meals, document that I ate them and try to reach a tiny itty bitty goal for walking (this will improve when Spring hits because DOGZO WALKS!!).
So I’m eating what I think is healthier although this first week I’ve already noticed I’m going over my daily calories of 1399 by 200 to 300 calories.  This is because I’m still feeling hungry so I eat to try to make it a little better.  I’m still feeling hungry when I go to sleep but it isn’t enough to make me binge.  That’s what my goal is to start – eat healthier and only feel a little peckish so I don’t binge on the closest available item.  If I had to guess I think I’ve been eating more like 2000 to 2700 calories a day so I’m still dropping the calories considerably.  I just need to work on lowering it down week after week until I’m at my goal.
Besides the food I’m also taking up the exercising again.  I’m being money savvy about it though.  I got a “Pot of Gold” coupon book that includes several free coupons to various local businesses.  I did a few swaps with some people and I’ve got enough gym membership trials to last me 9 months – for free!  6 weeks of Yoga, two 1 months at Curves, a month at a 24 hour fitness place and a 6 month at Temple Fitness.  I’m currently using my first Curves membership at the one farthest from home.  The coupon is only supposed to be “1 per person” but I plan to use this one, do all but the 6 month coupon and then take the 2nd Curves coupon over to the one closer to where I live.  I picked to start with Curves because I’m familiar with the circuit and wanted to start with what I know.
I also have a goal to exercise a few times at home, especially if I can’t meet my minimum of 3x a week at the gym.  I’m not sure when I will take the initiative to do that until I’m faced with laziness and skipping a gym day but so far I want to maximize the free and go as much as possible.  Curves is terrible for access on the weekends (usually only open 4 hours in the morning on Saturday and not at all on Sunday) so when I want to make sure I get my exercise I may take up the extra at home work out for that purpose.
My other goal is to use my damn electric bike(s).  I purchased them both with high hopes and have rode each of them 1x.  My 1 bike is large and weighs a lot and the other is meant to be tiny so you can throw it in my tiny car.  My end game will be to try and use it at least once a week starting when the weather hits 20ish and above to ride from home to work and back.  I live 13km from work – this will be a challenge.  Google map says this will take me 45 minutes one way on a bike. 
This bike challenge will have to start with my mini bike and taking the time to bike either to and from my husband’s workplace during lunch breaks (it says it takes 1km = 4 minutes so maybe do lunch with him and come back to work?) and progress to further locations until I have stamina to go the whole way….it also might be easier and faster than I think since it is an electric bike and it can go about 30KM/H
The last thing I a doing to help me with weight loss is the Alberta Healthy Services Healthy Living Program.  It’s 9 weeks every Wednesday of information and help for people like me who struggle.  One of them is tonight!
So I’ll end my novel now…at least this one is more on point.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

The long and grinding road…

I have not hit a wall but I have hit a point where I’m having issues with staying true to the coarse.  Theoretically I should be on workout 35 but I’m on working 26 (by tonight anyways).  In the past 3 weeks I have missed 9 workouts due to a funeral, being sick with a cold and bursitis that likes to flare up from time to time in ether hip.

It’s very hard for me to convince myself that I’m not failing.  Yesterday was probably the worst.  My workouts the past week or two have been particularly spotty because of the cold – I worked out 1 day, missed 2, worked out again and then ended up with bursitis in my hip so I skipped another day to let it settle and then worked out yesterday.  Prior to that I was close to just doing the “To hell with it” thing because I noticed my stomach was sticking out and I thought I was getting fatter again. I thought that I had not done enough exercise so my body was backsliding.  I even measured my abdomen and found it was an inch bigger than my measure day back on August 31st.  I was spinning out and feeling miserable.

And then I realized I was bloated.  Don’t know what caused it but I was bloated and by the end of the day my measurement had fallen back down…and actually a little under what I was August 31st.  I panicked for nothing, I made myself feel like a fat hippo for no reason…I was having a fat day again but a much harder to identify kind – the kind where there is evidence besides you’re “feeling” fat that makes you want to scream and wonder why bother? 

Thankfully, I did not throw in the towel even when I thought I was backsliding.  Because I remembered why I was bothering and that it was not just to lose those inches.  I need not only to lose weight to drop pressure off my knees but I need to keep exercising because it gives me strength that I require regardless if I stay the same size – more strength means I can deal with that extra weight.  It also makes me feel better about myself in every way, more energy, less negativity and just overall better.

I can’t ever give up and I can’t ever stop.  I need to exercise until I reach a healthy target weight and then I need to keep exercising to maintain that weight.  I won’t make my goal this month or even by the end of this year…and probably not even by the end of next year but I have to keep going no matter what.

After all, if I quit I lose my Beach Body Unicorn moniker and THAT is the most important thing of all!



Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Happy Burst-Day!

So yah, my husband doesn’t say birthday…is term really brings to mind the Aliens series of movies…but he’s never watched one.  Yes, crime.  Yes, beat him.

Anyways.  I’m on Day 10 of PiYo!  I don’t know if it’s really doing anything/will do anything for me but the best part of exercise for me is that I feel better about myself just for having done it.  It’s been a struggle – particularly Day 6 and Day 9. 

Day 6 both my knees were failing me and they were sore.  When I got home I saw the particular exercise routine I had to do was called “Sweat” which is a 40 minute one instead of the 20 or 30 minute ones…so I went and watched TV for an hour to work up the ability to push through and do it.  That’s a dangerous game to play since laziness can take over so easily but I knew it was for the best.

On the 9th day (yesterday) we got back from an overnight trip to Elkwater where we had kayaked both days and done mini golf, walking and a bunch of stuff for our birthdays and our anniversary.  When we got home I was pretty tired so we watched some TV and before I knew it the time was 10:30pm at night.  It took a lot of effort but I got off my ass and did my 20 minute Core workout.  It didn’t feel like I sweat very much or exerted myself so I wonder really how hard I was trying…but I did at least do it.

I think my 2 week check in for measurements is coming up (that’s a thing right, I didn’t make it up in my mind this was happening?).  I won’t be doing it right on my 14th work out.  I have a funeral to go to this week out of town so it will lead a little into next week as well…so probably last week of August I’ll see where I stand.

I also need to figure out how to do my exercise while away.  I can do my 1 workout just before we leave on Thursday but I need to do Friday and Saturday as well.  I was considering doubling up my workouts.  This might only work for tomorrow.  I usually go swimming with my mom and do my work out routine on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  I may or may not be swimming today depending on when my parents decide to leave for the funeral – they are leaving ahead of time so my mom can visit her family too.  If we go tonight I won’t have time to double up my routine but on the flip side if I can double up my routine it’s good but I’m also getting the same amount of exercise as normal for today and it feels like cancelling each other out.  I wonder if I can triple up tomorrow or if I’d injure myself?


20140616_054246000_iOS This is incredibly accurate.  After Day 4 Shea thought I was playing so I have to add throwing her toy and getting attacked by her into my routine as best as I can.

Anyways, I was going to post all my photos to date but I’m having an issue with One Drive still downloading all my photos from a long while ago on this particular computer and I’m too lazy to email myself the photos and then save them, upload them, blah blah blah.  So Maybe next time XD  Who wants to see a gross “sweaty mug pic” anyways?

BB Unicorn Out.

Friday, August 1, 2014

Challenge Accepted!

Well hello there sportsing fans!  Mucho things have happened.  I already mentioned me starting to become healthier.  To that end I agreed to be part of a challenge group my friend Kylie is the coach of.  It’s strange that I’ve never met Kylie but my husband has – we have a love of Doctor Who and Community that has bonded us sight unseen.
Anyways – the challenge is a Beach Body challenge which is why my blog is called what it is.  Kylie has not been overly enthusiastic with my humour but I found an excerpt on the Beach Body website about Shakeology being Gluten Free…and how fat Celiac disease people are extremely rare.  So I’ve decided I’m a Beach Body Unicorn because they think I’m so mythical!
20140730_193911000_iOS_thumb This is me.
PiYo (supposedly pronounced pie-yo but I prefer pee-yo) arrived on Tuesday in a blue and white box of doom, or awesomeness whatever your perspective.  It had the Shakeology 1 month supply bag and the PiYo workout DVDs inside.
So today was my first day of the challenge.  I woke up and drank my Shakeology.  I liked it!  I made it with chocolate milk because I was in a hurry and I have a bunch of individual 350ml ones so I dumped it in and ran out the door for work.
So because I knew that after work I’d have to try my first crack at PiYo I decided to make a decision on my replacement for Body Media.  It’s a device I use to keep track of my calories, steps, sleeping, exercising and eating.  I landed on Garmin’s VivoFit.  The biggest reason is that it does pretty much everything all the other trackers do but it’s waterproof so I can keep it on when I go swimming 2x a week with my mom.
And now it’s almost time to post my fatty before photo and my setup for PiYo.  First I’ll just go over a few quick things about my first work out day.  I worked up a sweat.  It is going to be a challenge for my both because I’m not fit and because I can’t get off the ground once I’m on it.  Today’s session I took note of the fact that I can modify the work outs that involve being on the floor to being against the wall at an angle until I am able to get up and down from the floor without injuring my knee.  Right now I can’t do Child Pose, Pyo Flip, The Beast or whatever the sitting thing is they covered in the first video.  This may present a problem but I’ll find other things to do or a way to do something similar in a chair until I can work up to it.  I don’t expect to be able to do floor stuff for a couple weeks to a month.  Baby steps.
20140802_000836483_iOSThis is my dojo.  I have to move our coffee table (it’s heavy!) so since Ryan and I don’t really use the living room much right now I’ll just leave everything setup like this for awhile.
*drum roll* Now here is my fug in all it’s glory with my stats.  Let’s hope I see some improvement!!

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Having a fat day

I is having fat day. 

Today I felt like I gained weight - like I'm 300 pounds and bursting out of my own non-elastic skin. It's ok. Fat days are just the fat in your head be all crazy like. 

I weigh 216.7 pounds as of this morning. That means I'm down 6 pounds since the start of my attempt to improve myself 1 month ago. I'm not as fat as my fattest day but I feel more like it today than any other. 

2 reasons and it's both clothing related. 

1. I chose to wear pants that are a size too small so not only do I look fatter for muffin topping these things but the squeezing sensation adds the feeling of being overweight and I get self-conscience. So I threw on more clothes on my too half to hide the muffin top which added to my overall dowdy look. 

2. I went clothing shopping and nothing fit. Silly me. My own clothes barely fit me right now and I went to a store shopping for the size I last remember being - which appears to be 1 or 2 sizes smaller than I am now. 

In another 10 pounds I will revisit these muffin too pants and my favourite clothing outlet and see how it's all going. 

Fat days are apart of girl life. They may be apart of guy life too but whoever is having one you just have to remember a fat day is not an "I'm an overweight loser who should not leave the house ever and while I'm at it where's that untouched chocolate cake I'm gonna eat it all cuz I'm fat and nothing can save me" day. 

A fat day is a psychological indicator that you are on this day unhappy with your physical appearance. It has nothing to do with your actual weight or health. This isn't to say you can just think happy thoughts and make it go away. I'm having a fat day as I type all this. I'm comprehending of the fact I weigh less and am working to get healthier - but damn these pants are tight and making me want to Quasimodo it up a tower. I feel fat!! 

So I just have to remind myself it isn't real and not to jump ship on my progress just because I'm having these feelings. I will definitely feel even fatter and worse about myself if I go check in to the local Ben and Jerry icecream factory for the wekeend. I also need to reality check my ideals in the clothing store. Like I said - nothing seemed to fit me today but that doesn't mean it will be that way next time I go. Work a little harder, lose a little more and go back in a month. Maybe that really cool dress that nearly fit me will be on sale ;)

If I was more motivated at this point I would go exercise. I'm not there yet. I'm motivated enough to go home and get out of these leg prisons they call pants and have a shower. Showers are refreshing. 

Monday, July 21, 2014

Successful Completion of Trip

Wow.  Cavalia is awesome.  As in the previous post I said it was difficult to go on trips and keep eating right for 2 reasons – fast food and Celiac Disease.  Typically I’d go without eating if I couldn’t satisfy the Celiac issue because I’d rather be hungry than be sick. 

So on this trip I ate out 4 times. I was going to go into detail about it but seriously if you are ever curious what I’m eating day to day you can check me out on FitnessPal.  I did not eat healthy on this trip.  I just ate what was available.

I also ate whatever today because I got lazy.  I’m supposed to go home and get myself a meal but I have to drive 20 minutes to get there and I just really didn’t feel like it.  It’s a good thing that I have a 9 hour shift that gives me 1.5 hours of break time as I use it to drive to and from my house to have my lunch.  Sometimes I bring lunch to work but the issue with that is when people see you eating at your desk they think you can still work while you eat.  Sure, I could but I’m trying to watch Psyche or an equally silly show on Netflix for my break.

PiYo is on it's way to my house still.  I need to sit down and make a work out calendar.  I go swimming every Tuesday and Thursday with my mom.  It’s an Aquasize class that takes place at the Crescent Heights Leisure Centre.  I started taking it to help improve the muscle strength in my right knee.

What’s wrong with it you ask?  Not too terribly sure yet.  I injured it while kneeling (ironically I was kneeling because I was installing foam on the floor to help my other knee).  This was back in March and I don’t have an MRI until August.  I can walk mostly without a limp at this point but I can’t speed walk, job, run, climb stairs or turn too suddenly.  I’m still very surprised how slow it is taking to heal and I keep worrying something is more wrong with it than there appears to be.  I really expected it to be crap for a month and then I’d be back at work – at this point I’m wondering if there may be permanent damage and if I will ever be able to move fast again. 

True story from my vacation: while walking to the Cavalia show Ryan ran ahead to meet up with our group and I somehow took a slight turn off the path and ended up having to cross 4 lanes of traffic with no intersection and a large meridian in the middle blocking my path.  It was a fairly busy highway section.  I got across the first 2 lanes at my normal hobble without any vehicles coming but once I mountain climbed the 2 foot tall meridian and was 1/3 way across the 3rd lane vehicles started coming around the corner.  I didn’t want to die so I tried to speed up and much to my dismay I found a locking sensation in my knee and a twinge in my thigh that told me I was at my top speed.  Thankfully, the drivers didn’t want to kill me either so they must have slowed down just enough for me to hobble pass them to the grass.  I did get some honks :( Sorry guys!

…what was the point I was making before this tangent?  Oh yes, calendar.  I need to make one to include my low impact Aquasize workout that I’m doing to help my knee and I’m going to try and do PiYo (it’s Pilates and Yoga in one) to see if I can help my knee along even more while trying to lose weight.  It’s also supposed to be low impact so I’m hoping I can manage to work with it.  My doctor keeps telling me I need to lose weight in order to get some stress off my knees but it’s all a catch 22 when I can’t do the work outs that would give me the best results because I’m a gimp.

I’m still going to try.  I was also considering incorporating my Wii Fit into the progress.  I never use my Wii so I might as well put it to work.  Wii Fit does mostly balance stuff so that will hopefully be good in regaining the balance I lost through all my knee problems.