Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Having a fat day

I is having fat day. 

Today I felt like I gained weight - like I'm 300 pounds and bursting out of my own non-elastic skin. It's ok. Fat days are just the fat in your head be all crazy like. 

I weigh 216.7 pounds as of this morning. That means I'm down 6 pounds since the start of my attempt to improve myself 1 month ago. I'm not as fat as my fattest day but I feel more like it today than any other. 

2 reasons and it's both clothing related. 

1. I chose to wear pants that are a size too small so not only do I look fatter for muffin topping these things but the squeezing sensation adds the feeling of being overweight and I get self-conscience. So I threw on more clothes on my too half to hide the muffin top which added to my overall dowdy look. 

2. I went clothing shopping and nothing fit. Silly me. My own clothes barely fit me right now and I went to a store shopping for the size I last remember being - which appears to be 1 or 2 sizes smaller than I am now. 

In another 10 pounds I will revisit these muffin too pants and my favourite clothing outlet and see how it's all going. 

Fat days are apart of girl life. They may be apart of guy life too but whoever is having one you just have to remember a fat day is not an "I'm an overweight loser who should not leave the house ever and while I'm at it where's that untouched chocolate cake I'm gonna eat it all cuz I'm fat and nothing can save me" day. 

A fat day is a psychological indicator that you are on this day unhappy with your physical appearance. It has nothing to do with your actual weight or health. This isn't to say you can just think happy thoughts and make it go away. I'm having a fat day as I type all this. I'm comprehending of the fact I weigh less and am working to get healthier - but damn these pants are tight and making me want to Quasimodo it up a tower. I feel fat!! 

So I just have to remind myself it isn't real and not to jump ship on my progress just because I'm having these feelings. I will definitely feel even fatter and worse about myself if I go check in to the local Ben and Jerry icecream factory for the wekeend. I also need to reality check my ideals in the clothing store. Like I said - nothing seemed to fit me today but that doesn't mean it will be that way next time I go. Work a little harder, lose a little more and go back in a month. Maybe that really cool dress that nearly fit me will be on sale ;)

If I was more motivated at this point I would go exercise. I'm not there yet. I'm motivated enough to go home and get out of these leg prisons they call pants and have a shower. Showers are refreshing. 

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